Melbourne

The Reprint: ‘R to the E to the B’

April 18, 2009

My last weekend in England was spent in the thick, vice-like grip of the Glastonbury mud. It remains one of the greatest weekends of my life, and it was where I was first introduced to the wonders of the Silent Disco.

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Can’t Stand the Heat?

February 2, 2009

Hot. So. Hot. I woke this morning feeling twenty years younger. Then I opened my eyes and realised I hadn’t wet myself, I’d sweat myself. I showered and dried. Then sweat again. I walked to the shop, but soon slowed to a slumped staggered. I felt like a tortured sprite being forced along the length […]

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Lynch of the Grinch

January 4, 2009

Pen down! That’s it. Time out. No more. This is a travel blog. One must travel. Then. One must blog. My temple of travel was built by glorious bricks of occurrence, each slightly offset from the last. It was then decorated with woven wonder and filled with fusty fervour. It inspired me (and everyone who […]

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Penny for the Poor

December 18, 2008

Penny for the poor? Thanks mate, you’re a champ. Actually, ahem. I couldn’t be cheeky and ask for another two hundred and eighty-eight pennies could I? I need to grab a tram. Are you sure? Cheers fella, you won’t regret that! Fancy a pint? Two beers por favor. Six hundred and twenty-two pence? Oh, uh… […]

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Home Truths

December 7, 2008

He was stood still, caught under the orange spell of a local streetlamp; though it occurred to me that the bulge of his belly was disguising a bubbling vat of laughter. His rumpled face was youthful and whimsical, yet ploughed with age. It was his wings that stopped me in my midnight tracks – dull […]

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The Incidental Artist

November 9, 2008

She sits atop a stool. Her plump figure appearing not unlike a pumpkin, ripe for pumpkin things. Like pie. Like Hallowe’en. Like my favourite risotto. Her heels clasp the bar, forming a makeshift desk with her hearty knees. She hunches, allowing her short dark hair to tunnel her vision through her simple glasses and onto […]

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Strokes for Folks

October 25, 2008

Tall. Chic. Shifty. Schoolgirl. Metro. Tourist. Tourist. Schoolgirl. Scruffy. Shady. Beautiful. Dazed. Tired. Schoolboy. Plain. Thoughtful. Chirpy. Geeky. Trendy. Slick. Macho. Emo. Lonely. Engrossed. High? Self-important. Slim. Vain. Schoolboy. Weathered. Pasty. Tourist. Sleek. Smiley. Weird. Tradie. Queasy. Agitated. Flash. Kind. Cute. Snooty. Troubled. Schoolgirl. Schoolboy. “The next train to arrive at platform one, will be […]

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