Australia

Life of a Travel Blogger

February 21, 2009

Tip tap tap. Read. Review. Refine. Tip tap tap. Read. Review. Refine. So the life of a blogging traveller goes. Endlessly scraping the travel-related news from the surface of their lives and smearing it into what some construe to be “incredibly inspiring”, while others conclude it to be “absolute bollocks!” and “so far from the truth!” they actually wonder if “the author has just conjured up the post from conversations with their mate’s ex-girlfriend, or combined the latest National Geographic with the 1984 Rupert Annual.”

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Chariots & Fire

February 9, 2009

In India you ride an Enfield. In England you drive a Mini. In Mongolia you ride a horse. In Africa you roam your cow. In Spain you walk your burro. In Holland you ride your bicycle. In Wales you ride a sheep. Here in Australia, you drive a ute. A what? A ute. A flute, […]

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Can’t Stand the Heat?

February 2, 2009

Hot. So. Hot. I woke this morning feeling twenty years younger. Then I opened my eyes and realised I hadn’t wet myself, I’d sweat myself. I showered and dried. Then sweat again. I walked to the shop, but soon slowed to a slumped staggered. I felt like a tortured sprite being forced along the length […]

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The Big Itch

January 22, 2009

On Monday I said “I wanna travel around Australia by tuktuk!” On Tuesday I stammered “I wanna travel around Australia by motorbike!” On Wednesday, I caved in and decided “I wanna travel around Australia by tractor!” On Thursday I compromised and concluded “I wanna travel around Australia by Citroen 2CV” On Friday I was feeling […]

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Lynch of the Grinch

January 4, 2009

Pen down! That’s it. Time out. No more. This is a travel blog. One must travel. Then. One must blog. My temple of travel was built by glorious bricks of occurrence, each slightly offset from the last. It was then decorated with woven wonder and filled with fusty fervour. It inspired me (and everyone who […]

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Penny for the Poor

December 18, 2008

Penny for the poor? Thanks mate, you’re a champ. Actually, ahem. I couldn’t be cheeky and ask for another two hundred and eighty-eight pennies could I? I need to grab a tram. Are you sure? Cheers fella, you won’t regret that! Fancy a pint? Two beers por favor. Six hundred and twenty-two pence? Oh, uh… […]

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Home Truths

December 7, 2008

He was stood still, caught under the orange spell of a local streetlamp; though it occurred to me that the bulge of his belly was disguising a bubbling vat of laughter. His rumpled face was youthful and whimsical, yet ploughed with age. It was his wings that stopped me in my midnight tracks – dull […]

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