Trail of Ants

I woke up this morning with the scantily clad Vicky, of STA Travel fame softly reading to me from the Lonely Planet guide to Mongolia. Tales of riding horse back through the Gobi desert before walking hand in hand into a warm ger (Mongolian felt lined tent), all to ourselves. She descried how she would pour me a glass of warm goats milk, before slowly stripping off her… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!

I awoke with a start, (for real this time) and looked at the time on my phone, 09:03… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! “Alright, alright I’m coming” I yelled at the front door with croaky morning-voice. Realising my naked display I grabbed a towel en route and yanked the door open to be greeted by a spotty faced postman “Did I wake ya, mate? Special delivery mate. Sign here mate”, I took a breath and secured the towel while making up a new signature for my mate.

Within seconds I was back in bed, but alas Vicky had vanished without trace and I was left on my own to investigate my bundle of post. A reminder to tax my car. A cheque for £1.14. A cheque for £2.56. Two books from eBay (Eric Newby’s ‘The Big Red Train Ride’ and Paul Theroux’s ‘Riding The Iron Rooster’). Then, the coveted special delivery “hang on a minute” I murmured to myself “I recognise that hand writing!”, it was mine. I ripped open the small plastic envelope, and gave way to an outbreak of relief that even Vicky would of found hard to be irked with. The Russians were letting me, Энтони Стоун (my name, in Russian) in behind the ‘curtain’. They had kindly filled one of my passport pages with an impressive looking visa, and were giving me a big red thumbs up to enjoy Moscow and embark on the Trans-Mongolian railway.

I was so relieved to have my passport back I did a little dance, albeit horizontally while still in bed and covered with multiple envelopes and jiffy bags. My elation was short lived though, it suddenly dawned on me that I had to send it off again, this time to the Mongolians in the hope that they’ll give me, essentially a half-Russian “alien”, a stamp of approval as well. More paperwork, and more sleepless nights but I guess it’s all for the good of The Trail.